Raise Children Who Can Recognize Their Own Progress
Parents naturally want to encourage their children.
But what should you actually say when your child finishes homework without being reminded, tells the truth after making a mistake, helps a sibling, persists through difficulty, follows a routine, controls an impulse, or completes a responsibility?
And can too much praise sometimes create dependence on adult approval?
Notice What’s Working is a practical, research-informed parenting guide to giving children feedback that builds confidence, cooperation, responsibility, resilience, and increasingly independent motivation.
Rather than simply telling parents to “praise more,” author Bidyasagar Salam explores an important distinction:
Love is unconditional. Feedback is specific. Responsibility gradually becomes internal.
The book introduces the N.O.T.I.C.E. Method, a practical six-step framework:
N — Notice useful behavior
O — Observe what actually happened
T — Tie the behavior to strategy, effort, impact, or responsibility
I — Invite the child to reflect
C — Connect the lesson to future situations
E — Ease Off as competence and independence grow
Inside This Book You’ll Learn
- Why children learn from what receives adult attention
- Why specific feedback is often more useful than simply saying “Good job”
- How to encourage effort without praising ineffective struggle
- Why strategy, improvement, planning, and self-correction deserve attention
- How to recognize task initiation and completion
- How to encourage honesty after mistakes
- How to strengthen responsibility without shame
- How to reinforce kindness and cooperation
- How to support self-control and emotional regulation
- When praise can become excessive, controlling, or pressuring
- The difference between rewards and desperate bribery
- How to use sticker charts and incentives strategically
- How to gradually fade rewards and reminders
- What to say after failure or disappointing results
- How to respond when a child gives minimal effort
- How to support children when tasks are genuinely too difficult
- How feedback should change from toddlerhood through adolescence
- How to build a family culture based on contribution, trust, repair, and appreciation
Practical Parenting Tools Included
The book goes beyond theory with:
- 200 behavior-specific feedback phrases
- Age-by-age feedback examples
- Morning and bedtime routine templates
- Homework and study strategies
- Household chore guidance
- Screen-transition examples
- Reward-system troubleshooting
- Parent observation logs
- A 30-day progress tracker
- The complete 30-Day Notice Challenge
For Parents of Children From Toddlers to Teenagers
The examples and strategies cover approximately ages 2–18, with guidance adapted for:
- Toddlers and preschoolers
- Primary-school children
- Preteens
- Teenagers
The language becomes lighter and more autonomy-supportive as children grow.
The Goal Is Not More Applause
The ultimate purpose of positive feedback is not to raise a child who constantly asks:
“Did I do well?”
It is to help raise a young person who can increasingly say:
“I know what worked.”
“I know what I need to improve.”
“I can repair my mistakes.”
“I can handle this.”
Because successful parenting does not mean remaining your child’s permanent evaluator.
It means gradually helping them become capable of evaluating and directing themselves.
A Practical Guide for Thoughtful Parents
Ideal for parents, caregivers, teachers, grandparents, and anyone interested in:
Positive parenting • Child motivation • Praise and encouragement • Growth mindset • Responsibility • Self-discipline • Parent-child communication • Behavior management • Emotional development • Raising confident children
Notice what is working. Make the learning visible. Then give your child room to own it.
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